The Jersey Shore is underrated by intelligent people.

Cat for sale. Very disobedient. Price negotiable.

oh I USED to like cats but when people started putting them on album covers I got rid of mine

Gruyere is my favorite cat

Facebook is basically everyone saying the same thing all at once.

If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life it would be Percocet

Parroting the neologisms of an overexposed actor doesn't make you witty and it certainly doesn't make you original. #whining

Look at me I live in Portland I have an asymmetrical haircut I love it here.

Foot's asleep; So jealous of foot.

Best Coast, more like Worst Songwriting.