John Cougar Mellencamp melon camp

#fathersday is my favorite holiday because it's the perfect intersection of having an amazing dad and deeply Freudian problems.

Probably going to marry my cat this weekend, he's already dressed for it

Miley Cryrus #goth

Color 2 Badd

I'd love to tell you what I made for dinner, but I keep typing "meatload"

Cats LOVE being squeezed, it keeps them lithe

It feels like I got to second base with Captain Hook.

She blinded me with acid

Hobbies include cleaning my hair out of the Roomba