Conjunctivitis. Now it's a vacation.

Outside my apartment: A fire truck, an ambulance, three police cars, and a whole lot of Juggalos.

This is so awkward but I dont want to see my psychiatrist, I'm only doing it so he doesn't think I'm flaky.

IF YOU WANT TO DESTROY MY CAT SWEATER

My most hated song of the '90s is One Week by the Barenaked Ladies. My most hated song of the '00s is Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear. #fuckweeks

This weather forecast is like Back to the Future: it's in the 50s but it's supposed to be in the 80s

In a purely thermodynamic sense, I am doing all the Work here.

Baby Sinclair would be a good name for a cat that looked like Baby Sinclair

This week's weather is Austin Powers backwards: it was in the 90s and now it's in the 60s.

There's ALREADY a patron saint of cats :(