I'm celebrating my cat's birthday tomorrow, does anyone know where I can find a really good version of "Sunrise Sunset?"

CANCEL BROOKLYN BETA http://t.co/Qk7ka42a

Thoughts on the way to work today: Every day is like Buttday, Boners for Algernon, I got 99 problems and 99 butts

Lady, you can call it a detox and you can call it a cleanse but you are drinking a diarrhea milkshake.

Hearts on Fire-Cut Copy Flaming Heart-M Ward Burning for You-Blue Öyster Cult Im on Fire-Bruce Springsteen This Hearts on Fire-Wolf Parade

Three men have smiled at me in the past two days. I must be ovulating.

Hey I fixed the end of the Mad Men theme: http://t.co/hK9zdOQE

Yogurt is an excuse to be depressed while you eat.

It's difficult to communicate the eeriness of a dream where a majority of URLs on the web returned 404 errors.

Plenty of cats at the Hotel California, which is also a good name for a cat