The doorman is going to judge me because 20 mins ago I left and returned with a cookie and I'm about to leave and return with another cookie

I know I say this every year, but this Halloween I'm going to get my cat into a Sun Ra costume

Ladies who were also at the Psychedelic Furs tonight: I'm disappointed in how few of you were wearing pink. /cc @pfurs

Sick on Vacation 2: The Coughening

Started my day with a 101 fever and ended it in the dark watching Hugh Laurie fall in love with a 20-something who isn't me.

HELLO TWITTER, I'm heading up the sad food movement over at @30SecondRecipes

Last night's fortune cookie didn't mention anything about falling down an escalator.

The unbearable lightness of being uncool.

Dangerous discovery: whiskey makes me feel like I imagine everyone else feels.

My bad decisions also keep everyone else up at night. This is a tweet about laundry.