It's been night time the entire hour I've been in Hawaii; somehow I'm already sunburned.
MAZEL TOV COCKTAIL
A service that monitors your 4sq checkins and sends an ambulance to your house when it's been a while to see if you're depressed or dead
Not invited to any end of the world parties. Just as the Mayans predicted.
Prelude to a Kiss is the best movie http://t.co/gWzhPILX
The centerpiece of the film Pretty in Pink is the most hideous garment I have ever seen http://t.co/sfzdM9mJ
"Sweater dresses hide a multitude of sins but not the sin of being pear-shaped"
To the person on Reddit who said my cat looks like Steve Perry: You have ruined my day and my life.