And Federico Castellucio joins Al Pacino, Alec Baldwin and Hugh Laurie on the list of men my mom and I both have crushes on (an actual list)

I'm eating sushi alone and the dude next to me is talking about all the ways you could easily die on a cruise ship

The best part about going home so far has been that my dad's new glasses make him look like Junior Soprano

Yes, but how can I reverse the damage caused by having an aesthetician for a mother

To the teen who stepped on my foot 3 times: if you weren't so self-absorbed, you'd have noticed that you are the only one still wearing Uggs

Wondering what disease I'll pick up in NY this trip (Previously: conjunctivitis, Lyme Disease, ear infection)

What if, instead of going running, I amble around in full athletic wear and put a mozzarella and chocolate chip sandwich in the waffle maker

Several strangers in passing wished me a happy Mother's Day, reminding me of my naturally postpartum-shaped body I can never escape

MTV generation, are you all sitting down? Kurt Loder is 68.

My eyelashes are restored to their former glory after I lost many last fall, but I ran into traffic today because of pigeons, NEUROTIC LIFE.