I should probably eat something this month but all I have are three cartons of expired milk and some birth control.
When asked to rate my Emergeny Room experience last month, I told the hospital I would rather die of my ailments than visit their ER again
The crush I had in elementary school is also attending @brooklynbeta. I bet I can still make it weird 15 years later.
Got lost in the swooniverse, and stepped in hobo pee.
Two years ago today, I got a cat. Two years ago tonight, he defecated on my flokati rug. Happy Cattiversary! http://bit.ly/lSo3Um
Left a very beautiful thing in Boston: my favorite lip gloss.
Q: What does a bad tweet have in common with a bad play? A: Too many characters!
My favorite brunch place, @belly_pdx closed a week and a half ago and I will never eat my favorite meal again. WHY do I still live here? :(
Should have named my cat Excretory System. ZERO days without an accident.
I'm usually the meanest in the room, but the sax at last night's @denguefever show at Dantes was MEAN and I mean MEAN mean.