Long stem roses are the way to your heart but he needs to start with your cat

http://t.co/pOjalXbb um SPOILERS?

Worried about wrinkles? Stop expressing yourself.

MORTADELLA, pistachioed dark vampyress of the night

Watching the sunset, listening to Psychedelic Furs @ Steel Bridge http://t.co/FQK0bM17

William McKinley was my favorite-looking president http://t.co/4T7Xy9X0

I put a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the waffle maker, and am ready to ask my toaster to move out.

Just found the precursor to Sound of Summer: http://t.co/geOUXrCE

A dentist told me that I’m too young to have such wear on my teeth associated with a lifetime of bruxism, but it’s nice to be called young.

#sciatica You’re never too young for sciatica #sciatica